30-year-old bride refuses to let groom's sister be her maid of honor after sister claims she is ‘not in their family’s league', family confronts bride: ‘Just let it go’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 18, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

We cannot stress how important it is for a couple to get along with each other's families before they decide to tie the knot. Everyone who has ever been married will agree that you are not only marrying a person, but you are marrying their entire family, and like it or not, it is better if you all like each other.

Occasionally, a family's true colors will come to light during the wedding preparation, which means that there is still time to make a change, in whatever direction, even if it is not down the aisle.

The woman in the story below is currently struggling with her relationship with her future sister-in-law. Her fiancé's sister keeps making disrespectful comments about her and humiliating her in front of the family. The soon-to-be bride might have let it all slide if it weren't for her fiancé's request to make his sister the maid of honor.

But what bride would want a maid of honor who has absolutely no respect for her?

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  • When the bride told her fiancé she refused to let his sister become the maid of honor, his entire family got involved. 

    Now, there might not even be a wedding for the sister to be a maid of honor for…

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10554657792
    via Marc Calleja

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to let my fiancé’s sister be my maid of honor after what she said about me?

    I (30F) am engaged to "Ethan" (32M). His sister (29F) and I have always had a tense relationship.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 03
    She's very opinionated and has made little digs about me being "too plain" or "not in their family's league." Recently, at a family dinner, she made a snide comment about how "at least Ethan is marrying someone who knows how to cook, even if she's not much to look at." Everyone laughed, but I was humiliated.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 04
    Later, Ethan asked who I planned on picking as maid of honor. I said my best friend.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 05
    He looked uncomfortable and said his family is expecting his sister to fill that role since they're "very traditional." I told him absolutely not after the way she treats me.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 06
    Now his family is saying I'm causing unnecessary drama and "excluding" her. Ethan says I should just let it go for the sake of peace.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 07
    But I don't want my wedding spotlight shared with someone who disrespects me. AITA for standing my ground?
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 08
    Straight_Coconut_317 Sounds to me like you should ditch the whole family. What did Ethan say when his sister deliberately made fun of you in front of other people? Is this someone you really wanna tie your life up with forever?
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 09
    Key-Extension3390 Why would you marry a man who allows his family to treat you this way and disregards your feelings? Absolutely do not let her be your MOH. You can still make her a bridesmaid so there's no way to accuse you of excluding her, but you shouldn't be marrying a man who thinks you should tolerate disrespect to "keep the pace". You're setting yourself up for a life of misery.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 10
    Bride and groom with best man and maid of honor
    via Tony Anderson

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    toospicy4thepepper3 Did your partner at least stand up for you? Or does he stick by his family and say you should apologize "to keep the peace"?
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 12
    BigComfyCouch4 When did 'traditional' come to mean putting the groom's sister in the bridal party? That's not a thing. Sometimes, if they're close, a future sister in law is included, but it's not traditional. Grace Kelly married a royal. She didn't know any of her bride's maids. Even then, with as traditional as a royal wedding is, her future sister in laws weren't in the bridal party.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 13
    Certain-Thought531 Looks like you might have to let your fiance go for the sake of peace. If his family treats you like this before the wedding, can you imagine spending your whole life with them?
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 14
    Altruistic_Isopod_11 W1 are you marrying such a spineless loser? Have some dignity and respect yourself enough to walk away. You're not even married and he's already not sticking up for you. The bride gets to pick her maid of honor not the groom and his family. What's next? They get to decide where you live? The names of your kids if you have any? Who gets to be in the room? How you raise them? Open your eyes. Seriously.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 15
    NOR Other Thumbs If they're "very traditional," then they should know that traditionally, the MOH is the bride's sister or best friend. Also, the *bride* chooses her wedding party, *not* the groom's family. How gauche of them to presume otherwise.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 16
    Anxious-Routine-5526 NTA. But do you really want to marry into this family? Even your fiancé doesn't support you. It's only going to get worse, and being
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 17
    told/expected to "keep the peace" at your expense will utterly destroy you. The entire family is ugly at their core.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 18
    TooBad9999 There is nothing honorable about the family you are marrying into.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 19
    Walmar202 You should be glad this has happened. He has shown you that he allows others to demean you, disrespect you, and humiliate you.
    via HelenaWaffle27
  • 20
    You have had the good fortune to find this out before marrying him. End this relationship. Find a man who will stand up for you and love you! Best wishes to you!
    via HelenaWaffle27

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family drama aita wedding drama mother sister-in-law siblings reddit story wedding family sister fiancé Reddit women children Maid Of Honor Father
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